A test of humility

Have you ever poured so much into a person (or at least you think you do), and just get nothing back in return? How do you feel? For me it's almost like you feel an overwhelming sense of discouragement. I was rereading a passage in Crazy Love by Francis Chan today and it struck me. This is lukewarm thinking.

"Lukewarm people love others but do not seek to love others as much as themselves. Their love of others is usually focused on those who love them in return like family, friends, and other people who they know and connect with. There is little love left for those who cannot love them back, much less for those who intentionally slight them., who’s kids are better athletes than theirs, or with whom conversations are awkward and uncomfortable.  Their love is highly conditional and very selective, and generally comes with strings attached." - Chan

What convicting words. Am I loving people to expect things in return, or am I loving people as God loves them because that is what I'm called to do? These people who don't return the love I think I'm pouring out deserve to be loved just as much as the people pouring into me. It's something convicting to think about.

The Time In Between

You were there when your Father said
Let there be light
You obeyed when He whispered
Son, You have to leave tonight
To spend nine months in a mothers womb
Three days in a borrowed tomb

But it’s the time in between
That brings me to my knees
Knowing you came for me
And all that I can't be
I'm amazed, so amazed
And I thank You for the time in between

Don't take much for this crazy world
To rob me of my peace
And the enemy of my soul
Says You’re holding out on me
So I stand here lifting empty hands
For you to fill me up again

But it’s the time in between
That I fall down to my knees
Waiting on what You'll bring
And the things that I can't see
I know my song’s incomplete
Still I'll sing in the time in between

So many ways
Your love has saved the day
And I'm grateful for them all

But it’s the time in between
The middle of two thieves
That says everything
It’s the reason I believe
I'm amazed, so amazed
And I thank you for the time in between
Oh Lord, I thank you for the time in between

Time In Between by Francesca Battestelli

Have you guys ever thought about what Jesus does for us between his life and death? The lessons we learn from the parables he taught? The morals he sets for himself as an example for us? The way he treated people, and how he blessed people in the bible? I've been thinking about how we focus so much on his life and death (which in itself is so amazing).

Shifting gears a little bit, lets talk about what Jesus did for us. The biggest lesson I learned this year so far. We freaking suck at realizing the suffering Jesus went through for us. Not only persecution throughout his life, but a painful, torturous, humiliating death. Why did he die? He didn't do anything wrong. He died for US. We see a deer on the side of the road and feel more sorrow for that dead deer than we do for our savior. You know what I mean? Praise the Lord that he rose from the dead, how cool, but seriously people. Our faith is based on the fact that our Savior died for us, and yet sometimes we feel no emotion towards it.

Chew on that.
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Let me tell you about my life now. It's really good right now. The biggest blessing in my life is my core. They're so freaking great! Cedar Bend went really well. I couldn't have asked for a better weekend, with a better group of people. The weekend wasn't easy for them, or for me. But we all grew. I grew too. I learned so much from them, and I still learn a ton from them. I learn how to love people better. They love each other so much and I can take so much out of that. I'm super blessed to know them all. All of them have so many unique and interesting, and amazing qualities in them. I can seriously see myself becoming better and better friends with them throughout this year, and even the next two years I'll be here. I'm super blessed.

Sometimes, though, I wish I could be a better role model for them, a better encourager for them, and a better PA to them. I feel sometimes that I don't give my all into the group, and I don't like that. The group dynamics are exactly what I prayed for, yet, I feel I could do so much more for them. They deserve to be encouraged more, to be loved more. I think I can do it. Actually, I know I can do it. I'm going to do it.

Classes are still hard, and time consuming. I added a semester so it wouldn't be as hard, but I know I can get through this semester. I'm super blessed to have a few classes that I actually enjoy to keep my mind off of those silly ones that I dislike.

My attitude is sometimes not okay. Sometimes I become too protective of my friend's hearts that it isn't good for me, or them to see. Sometimes I care too much about my friends hearts and not enough on my own. Sometimes I don't even know what I'm feeling about different things, I just worry about what other people are feeling about them.Yet, sometimes I know exactly how I'm feeling and think it's weird that other people think they know what I'm feeling but really have no idea.

At this point in college, here is what I'm feeling. The relationships I have formed now are enough. I don't feel the need to form new friendships with people because I'm not going to be around much longer. My friends are incredible. Don't get me wrong, I love meeting new people, but I can only become deep with people I have deep relationships with. (I'm so glad my core is a part of this). I freaking shared my testimony with them. I don't share that with a lot of people. How cool.

That is really my life. Thank you good and faithful blog readers, and facebook stalkers reading my notes. Please comment if you feel the need. Also, pray that I am an effective leader to my core group. Pray that the Lord will provide me with the tools I need to help further their walks with Christ. That is truly what I want.

Love,
Marc

I'm learning

I'm having the time of my life this year. It's been so refreshing. My core group is really great. They care about each other, and that is so good to see. I can't even compare them to last year. Both great for different reasons. They love the Lord, they love each other, and they love to just hang out and have a good time. I love it. I love watching them thrive, and grow. We go to Cedar Bend on Thursday. I'm excited about that too.

I have incredible friends who love me. I've had so much fun with friends (mainly E&B, and those adventures), and it's been cool to get to know new friends (like Oliver and Aaron). I've had the time of my life.

With all the greatness of this year comes stress. I'm stressed out about this year. I'm taking 17 credits, plus i'm in COR100 with my group, so needless to say, I'm pretty busy. I'm so blessed to have the time to hang out with my friends and core, but this semester has been taking a huge tole on me. I haven't spend nearly enough time with Jesus, and I haven't spend nearly enough time on myself. I've been learning this last week that I need to find more about who I am, and really strive to find who I am through Jesus. I know quite a bit about other people, and forming relationships with other people, but I just don't quite have a grasp on who I am.

This happens quite a bit. I can almost hypothesize it happening every year. I get super weird, quite, and kind of depressed even when I am having fun with people because I simply get burnt out on giving. Sometimes I give more than I have to give to people, and that isn't fair to me, and to them. Even if they don't know it, I can't give something out that I don't have. I've been learning that lately.

So all in all, the Lord has put the right people in my life for the goals I need to accomplish this year. Just please be in prayer for me. Pray that I don't get burnt out. Pray that I find the people who can support me, and that I allow Jesus to spread his love to my heart, so that I can pour out more on people. Pray that I stay encouraged this semester.

I'd love to pray for you too. Just let me know how.

Friendship

So many thoughts run through my head, yet I can't even begin to make them sound intelligent.

Have you ever thought of how you make your friends? Do you choose them because you think they are the coolest? Do you choose them because you'll be seen by others in a different light if you're seen with them? or do you choose them because you can just tell that they care for you? Do you even choose them, or do they just happen...just appear, or do they insist until you give in? Or do you simply just become friends because you're forced to be around them because of certain situations?

What do you think a friend should be? Should I be able to get frustrated with a person that is my friend, or should there be no reason to be frustrated? Should a friend be someone that without a doubt would do anything for me?

Am I a man of many companions?

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I've been thinking so much about what a friendship should be like, and to be honest, I'm sick of selfishness. Now this worries me because I've often been told that what bothers you is something you do, yet it is something I strive not to do. Do I get annoyed with selfishness because it's something I'm focusing on, and notice more? Or am I annoying with it because it's something I am?

but people are different.

No friendship is the same, I guess. But should they all have the same attributes? or at least some?

I think I've come to the conclusion that people really need to focus on their friendships, analyze them, and really decide if it's worth it. Because even if you may not think there is anything wrong with it, the other person may be hurting because they don't think you love them.

This is what I'm getting at: Think about the other person. If you're there friend, you should know them.

So take the time to try and understand.

this is one of the most frustrating things about my personality. I do this, at least I try to do this, and I try to please people. Especially the people that I love. And when I don't get back what I give, I automatically assume that people don't appreciate me.

Better is open rebuke then hidden love.

Encourage, people. Encourage the heck out of your friends. Authentic praise! (yeah, Dr. P). Honesty is fantastic, also. But please, for crying out loud, do it in a loving way. I'm so sick of sarcasm. Somethings its hilarious, but it hurts people. Sensitive people are hurting because you made those other people laugh.

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Lately, my heart hurts for my friends who don't know Jesus. People who are so engulfed in stuff. In money. In people. I wish they would realize that stuff won't last. That money won't last. That people will last, they just may not be going to the same place as you. I just wish I could do more to save them. Shoot, I can do more. Why don't I? I guess I'm just too comfortable.
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All this being said, I have amazing people in my life. I'm encouraged all the time, yet it's by the same people.

I hope that when I fall, someone will help me up. Because I don't want to be pitied.


Love
-Marc

If only the people who need to hear this would read it. They're probably too busy. Or don't care.

Came To My Rescue

Falling on my knees in worship
Giving all I am to seek Your face
Lord all I am is Yours

My whole life
I place in Your hands
God of Mercy
Humbled I bow down
In your presence at Your throne

I called You answered
And You came to my rescue and I
I wanna be where You are

In my life be lifted high
In our world be lifted high
In our love be lifted high

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rWPABE3gycs

This was the first song that came up on my slow playlist on iTunes. This song means a lot to me simply because of how God came and rescued me from the sin I was living in my past. Lately I've been haunted by the things I struggled with. I have to remember how I have been rescued from that. Not saying I won't ever be tempted or haunted, but the love of my savior surpasses all of that.
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My great grandmother won't be with us much longer, and this is so hard for me. I was never very close to her, but I have always loved her so much. She loved Jesus with all of her heart, and loved her kids more than anything I've ever seen. She was the most thankful person I've ever met, never throwing away a morsel of food, never wasting money, but giving it out. Never saying a bad thing to anyone. I love her more than I've ever realized. She is 94, and she is ready, but this is so hard, especially not being home.
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wellspring is going fine. I'm still struggling with the things written in the last blog, but Sky Lodge has been really incredible.

-Marc

wellspringthree

The week we just finished was so good is so many ways. We we at Scioto Camp for Senior Teen week. Scioto is very different from the rest. The camp is completely free, and the students don't have to pay one dime to get in. How cool is that? It's cool in more ways than one. It give kids an opportunity to come to camp who may not usually have enough money, and it allows and easier way for campers to bring their friends to camp the next year! You meet some pretty incredible people there, and I just want to take a second to tell you about a few of them.

Another thing that was a first for me is we served as counselors along side two other college groups. One from Ohio Christian and one from Cedarville. They were both absolutely incredible. They both brought so much to the table. Ohio Christian had hearts of gold, and were so ready to serve at any chance they got. I had the privaledge to serve in the same cabin with Luke from our team and Josh from Ohio Christian. Cedarville inspired me. They were the drama team for the week! It was great to see them using drama for the glory of the Lord. It gave me hope that I can continue to act, and it can constantly be for God's glory. They were incredible people too! I love each and every one of  them, and our journey does not stop here. I haven't uploaded any of my pictures, so for lack of a better picture this is the only one I have. Seth is the only one in it, and he is from Cedarville, but once I upload more pictures, I'll add a group one.

They were great. I saw Jesus in all of them as we were serving along side each other, and there was so much encouragement happening throughout. There were never any college battles or sour attitudes, just raw, genuine love for each other and for serving.

My cabin was great too! I loved each one of them. If you can't notice from the background of the picture, it was a very rustic camp. There were gaps in all of the boards of the cabins, and many mutant spiders running around, but my cabin was great! (Once again, I'll post you a picture once I upload them all) and I couldn't have asked for a better one. They were all beautiful people.

The worship was great, and the alter calls were very responsive which is such a blessing. Jacob is an incredible person, with an incredible heart who seeks after the Lord with his talent. Can't wait to room with him, Jason and Adam next year!

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I'm still struggling with finding my role in the group. It's still really hard for me to step back, and sometimes I feel like my opinions aren't valid. It's hard to have no authority and just follow. I know that so much of leadership is following, and I guess that is something I'm learning right now. One thing I'm loving is the challenge of not having any rights. Sometimes I slip and complain about something, but it's kind of refreshing to me to realize that I do not have any rights on this trip, and I'm here to completely surrender myself to Jesus Christ through this job. 

I just feel really discouraged at this point. I feel really stale. Luke came to talk and pray with me, and I can honestly say that was one of the highlights of the week. Sometimes people forget about the sound guy, and it was encouraging to me for him to do that. Luke is a stellar person, who has proven himself so much during this trip. He has the biggest servants heart I've ever seen. But anyways, I know that it comes with the position of sound man to kind of get placed almost on the back burner. People usually only come talk to me when something doesn't sound good to them, and that is something I struggle with so much. If you could pray for me, that was be great. I need to find my place.

Today we sent forth to Sky Lodge Camp. It's going to be a blessing and a struggle for me. Love the camp, and the kids, but it isn't going to help with all the feelings I'm feeling I don't think.

Love you all.

-Marc

wellspringtwo

Tonight begins our week off. I'm happy about it. Last week was a really great week. I had such a good time.

I'm ready for a miracle. I'm ready to be completely blown away. I had a really great conversation with Carolyn, Marrissa and some guys from the Clarkston youth group about how every second of our lives is a miracle, and how everything is spiritual. I'm just blown away by how we are able to live, eat, breathe, and communicate, and how so completely complex we all are, and by the miracle stories I hear from people all the time. I'm so blessed to be worshipping a God who created all of that.

Another thing I'm ready for is my ministry this summer to continue. I'm ready to minister, and I'm ready to be a counselor, and I'm ready to see the rest of my team counsel. I don't think they've all (at least not some of the new ones) understood what we're actually being asked to do this summer because our week was so laid back. We didn't have much responsibility and we all kind of took advantage of that. I don't want that anymore. Not only for myself but for the team. That is one thing I've been thinking about.

You could pray for this ministry that we're all doing, and for my attitude specifically. It doesn't take much for me to be set off, or for me to put myself down. It's really easy for a sound guy to be left in the dust, and I don't take that lightly. I find that a person like me analyzed things too much, and gets offended way to easily, however, I feel I can find a middle ground because a lot of this about me shouldn't change because it is simply who I am. You could pray that I be patient with my teammates but still hold them accountable to what I feel is right and wrong. Thanks.

-Marc

wellspringone

Well folks,

we moved in Tuesday. we practiced til today. we're off tomorrow. I can't tell you how excited I am. My groups is really incredible, and I have learned so much during this training week. It's been extremely helpful.

Tomorrow we leave for Greenville Family Camp. This camp is not unknown to me. I went last year, and it was a really good time. We met some really cool staff there and a few that actually came to Spring Arbor last year and I'm excited to see the others again!

It's been really interesting noticing how much I have changed since last year. Lets reflect on that for a bit. Last summer was a changing point in my life, but I can remember that during the beginning of the summer I didn't have a very good attitude. I wasn't prepared. I didn't feel like my knowledge was adequate enough and I was not ready to beginning touring. God provided, and it happened, and it was successful. I feel adequate, and I feel like I know enough to be a good sound guy now. Praise the Lord. AND I feel like my attitude is going to be way better. I'm going to have my teammates keep me accountable.

This blog is going to be used for my personal thoughts. I'm going to put general updates on the wellspring group page and send them out as messages and save my thoughts for here.

Love you. Comment.

-Marc

Oh, life is beautiful.

I recently had a sophomore check, which is basically an interview with a few of the Worship Arts professors to see if I can stay in the program, and it was so good for me. I've realized that I haven't found out who I am. My identity was in people, not Jesus. I realized that the only way to find an identity is through seeking Jesus. Because I'm such a relational person, it has caused me to be so sensitive, and I think that is what has caused my feelings of worthlessness. These next two weeks I'm going to focus on seeking Jesus, and through that, I'm going to focus on me, and who I am through Christ. I'm so ready.


I leave for Wellspring in 2 weeks. Pray for me, and the team please.

Stephen Clark.
One of the greatest men I've ever met. Though not very close physically, in spirit we are. This kid knows more about me than most people, and there was 0% judgment from him. Though I've only seen him the last two years here, I've seen him grow a whole lot, and it was an honor watching him all the way up to his recital and final stage directing performance. It was an honor serving with him in JP, and the little bit of time he was involved in Phantom. It's been fantastic going through acting for film with him, and it has been truly an honor being his man lover for some time. I will miss him so much!!, But I know the Lord has a plan for him and he is going to go on and do great things. I love you Stephen!

-Marc

Roomies

There is someone I know who deserves a little bit more than a blog, but here goes nothing. Kyle Rehnlund has been my roommate all year, and can I just say, that it has been incredible. Kyle is a loving, passionate, servant and I've seen him grow so much. It's been cool sharing my journey this year with him. We had a rough patch (okay, a couple rough patches) but through it our friendship has grown stronger and stronger and stronger, and the bond between us is solid as a rock. Nothing can break it. I'm so excited for next year because we both have to be intentional with our relationship because we aren't living together, and I think it's going to be an important thing for our friendship.

I think what I love the most is watching Kyle do what he loves to do. He is so passionate about serving the Lord through worship. Not only in chapel, or corporate worship, but through choir, and through section leading, and even through private lessons. I can't wait to someday visit his classroom and watch him do his magic because he is following a calling set forth for him, and is loving every second of it. It's going to be fun being with Kyle through this college journey, and I'm so excited for whats ahead.

Thanks Kyle, for a great year, great support, great listening, and for sleeping on top of my the whole year. while making silly sucking noises in your sleep. I love you a whole lot.

-Marc

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Time for a life update.

Wellspring is in Tminus 3 weeks, and I am ecstatic. I cannot describe to you how excited I am to travel with the people I'm going to travel with. I AM SO EXCITED. I love Jake and his incredible leadership, Eric and his maturity and quiet sense of humor, Jacob with his sarcasm and genuine spirit, Luke and his humor and honesty, Marrissa and her heart (that says it all), Carolyn and her on fire passion, and Liz with her crazy personality. I think this summer is going to change our lives.

Friday wraps up my Sophomore year of college. It's been a rocky one to say the least, but it's been fantastic. Being a PA was one of the best things I have ever done. Seriously, they may not know it, and I wish they would know it, but I love my students so much and what they bring to the core group, and to the university. I am so honored to have them in my core, and I'm sad to see some of them go, but realize Spring Arbor may not be the place for them, so it is exciting for me to see them fulfilling their callings.

I've gotten to know so many new people, and have build strong friendships with so many I knew before. I've mentioned a lot of them in this blog, but I am honored to have met so many new amazing people that I'm going to get to spend my time here with. I've also met a ton of new people at home which makes it a lot better when I'm in Lansing.

I've gotten into the theater and music stuff a lot more this year, and have loved every minute of what I have been blessed to be a part in. Johnny Pye was phenomenal and the directing shows were too. I've loved them both.

God is stirring something up in my soul. I don't know what it is yet, but I know it has a lot to do with the lack of time I spend with Him. He is going to turn my world upside down soon. I can sense it. I'm excited for it!

Thats the lowdown.

everyone who reads this is a champion in my eyes. I would love for you to comment, so I know! It's excited for me to know people are interested in what I have to say.

I love you all.

Redirection

My emotions, feelings, thoughts about secular things seem to have taken over. I care too much what people think, and I'm certainly too critical of myself because of it. The feeling of worthlessness that pops up in my brain every once in awhile needs to be redirected to unworthiness of the love our Savior gives. The pain I feel from rejection needs to be taken away, washed away by the blood of Jesus.

but for some reason it's too hard.

I create the illusion to myself that what people think about me is important. I think to myself that things people do to me matter. I'm constantly trying to please people.

All in all, what I'm saying is I need to be pleasing for Jesus, and all those things come into place. This sense of worthlessness that creeps up on me all the time needs to be completely redirected and washed away. This pain in my stomach from people constantly unintentionally hurting me needs to turn into confidence to confront the issues.

Conclusion: Pray more. Read more. Act more. Worship more.

how?

Discipline more.

how?

more accountability.

where?

everywhere.

when? from tomorrow on. :)

Goodnight.

Distractions

Isn't it crazy how we can get so distracted from God? What is even crazier is that a lot of the times we think we are on the right track, but we can even get distracted by spiritual things. A worship song can distract us from Jesus. Especially for people who lead worship. A paper on a religious topic for school can distract us from the God who is allowing us to live so we can write this paper for school. Right now I'm writing this paper on the emergent church for one of my classes. It has to be pretty long, and I'm getting pretty stressed about it. It's a huge distraction for me because I need to realize that it is Jesus in me that is allowing me to live, to be at this school, and it is an honor to write this paper to learn more about this movement.

Right now, my church is doing a sermon series on how to kill a church. The Bible promises that the church will flourish, but he doesn't promise that every church building is going to survive and Noel, the pastor there has been giving every week a different thing that could potentially kill a church. The first week he talked about how our beliefs could kill a church. He talked about the importance of the resurrection, and how simply without it, none of us could believe what we believe. He talked about how the resurrection should be preached on all throughout the year, not just on Easter, and we should constantly be celebrating and acknowledging it. The next week he talked about how we can kill a church with our lives, and how we live it. He said that our lifestyles or a lot of times ones of hypocrites and of course, full of sin.

The next week he talked about how we can kill a church with our actions and with favoritism. I really liked this one because it is so true. There is so much of this in the church, and it is not biblical, and is not needed. Our actions should always be that of Christ's, and it's just not true. Today, Noel talked about how we can kill a church with our words. Hmm. Pretty interesting. I just heard someone swearing up a storm on campus. That breaks my heart. It breaks my heart to know there are lost people on this campus, and that people either don't notice or don't care. I wish I knew who this person was.

This campus needs prayer people. There is no doubt in my mind that revival is happening, but it needs to come onto this campus more and more everyday.

It's way to late to continue to think.
Love, Marc

Contemplation

I sit here with my dear friend Becca to my left I wonder what homework to even begin. I mean I have a group project, a individual project, two six page papers and a one act scene to successfully direct before school gets out, and yet I decide to blog. A ton has been tugging at my heart, and sometimes I can't even put on paper (or computer screen) all of it, but I think its healthy to put at least some of it on here.

What does it look like to live radically? Marrissa had a good point today in the choir devotion. Am I living radically for Jesus? I don't think I am. Is being on Wellspring radical? Is being a PA radical? Or am I completely sidetracked in thinking that? Am I just living comfortably? I really want to research this.

I had probably the crappiest week of my college career last week. But the weirdest part is last week I've gotten more encouragement from people than ever before. This really isn't contemplation, but simply me constantly being more in awe of Jesus than ever before. Two things specifically really got me down (petty things, of course), but through those, I've gotten even closer to Brad Moss. Someone I didn't think I could get closer to. The ways I appreciate him is definitely something I want to blog about...maybe at the end, but anyways, through the crap of last week, I've been completely encouraged by so many people, and that is why I love this college so much. It is full of staff and professors to encourage me, and full of incredible people to mentor, and support me through everything. Paul Patton is the great ever. 'Nough said.

I am so excited to live in U-Hall next year. I cannot wait to live with the brothers I'm going to live with, and serve with them! I'm so ready to be intentional, and that is something else I have been thinking about lately. Ever since the new PA list went out, I have just been convicted. I feel like the biggest mistake I've made this year is attempting to create the illusion to my students that I am perfect. I feel like it pushed many of them away from me because they felt it impossible for them to create a relationship with me. That is not going to happen next year. I still feel this year went really well, that was just my biggest mistake.

Anyways, I just wanted to take a couple lines to tell you about my best friend. I really want to start to use this blog to encourage others who have made an impact in my life, and I don't think there is any other man I could think of right now who deserves some encouragement. I love Brad Moss, and I know he loves me, and I'm really thankful for that. He has said some of the most encouraging things to me, and I couldn't thank him enough for it. Brad Moss is a man after God's own heart, whether he knows it or not sometimes. His humility baffles even himself sometimes, and I can't quite wrap my head around that. I hope I can be what Brad was to me for my students, and right back to him. I consider our friendship a dual mentorship, and I pray I can be the mentor to him as he is to me. Last week is a great example. I didn't get the housing choice I wanted, and if you don't mind me getting completely honest, I was mad. I was so frustrated because I thought it was because there was something about me that bothered the other people in the house therefore resulting in them not choosing me. I was wrong in that, and Brad helped me realize that it wasn't something about my character, but simply just something. He helped me realize (just like Doug) that I am who I need to be, and the only person that can question my character is the Lord. My character is not something I feel needs to be changed, however, I didn't feel that way last week. Now, Brad didn't just say "You're dumb, stop it." He really dug deep and made me completely vulnerable by answering questions I didn't really know how to answer, and made me really think about how I'm viewing these situations. He helped me through my other frustration that week too, by simply just going out and hanging out with me for a night. It literally made my week.

The relationship I have with Brad is what I want with all my friends. I don't want the same exact friendship with everybody because that would be boring, but the base of our friendship is solid. It is the Solid Rock. Jesus is our base, and that is what I want for everyone, and I pray that it can be like that for even the people I know who may not love Jesus. I love this man, and I am SO excited to see where he goes from here.

I love you all. Thank you for faithfully reading

-Marc

Home

Ever since I've been at Spring Arbor, I've never really called Lansing home. I can honestly say that although I love and adore my friends at Spring Arbor, home has been so much better. I've met some incredible people that I'm going to know forever, and I've rekindled friendships from high school, and we've been growing so much closer.

The cool part about it, though, is that they are all completely head over heals in love with Jesus. Every single one of them. Their whole lives are for him, and they are consistently reaching out, studying the word, studying together, and loving. They love all the time.

Meet James. James is a hard working, freaking hilarious, easy going person who loves to love, and show Christ through it. There is no way the love he pours comes from himself, but from the Jesus, who also happens to be the love of his life.It's been awesome to see how much he loves the students at his church, and invests in their lives. I knew him in high school, but it's been super cool to develop a deeper friendship.


Cayden loves more than anyone I've ever met before in my entire life. Seriously. Let me tell you something. He lives in Lansing in not the best neighborhood with some guys (including James) and his life has just been wrapped around loving on the people in his neighborhood. He knows the name of almost every kid in the neighborhood, and he just loves on these kids so selflessly. It has been an incredible honor to watch Cayden grow and grow and grow. I think what fasinates me most about him is how in tune he is with the Holy Spirit, and what his calling is as a Christ Follower. I see Jesus in Cayden. It is so cool how apparent it is in him. It has been nothing but pure joy seeing Cayden and see how he's changed from when I knew him in high school.


Finally, meet Doug Mains. Doug Mains plays music, and he is quite good at hit. In fact, he's incredible. I had the privilege of meeting this kid at church last semester, and I'm so happy I did. From the moment I've met him, he's shown me nothing but love, and throughout our friendship he has been the one that has encouraged me the most out of anybody I know. Through sharing with him about the horrors of my past, and the deepest things in my heart, he shoots back with great advice and a TON of encouragement. He's the one that shows me that it's okay to be me, and people like me the way I am just by simply caring intentionally, listening, and loving. The love of Jesus is apparent in him also. I've never met someone who isn't in school yet studies the bible daily, and lives by it's every word. I love this kid. [check out Doug's music here: http://www.reverbnation.com/dougmains].

Also, Kelly is in this picture. She is the most genuine person I've ever met. Seriously.


I think the key word here is love. These four people I've talked about simply love to love, and it truly means a lot to a person that sometimes finds it hard to love himself. I've been completely convinced that I should be, and need to be who I am because of these people. I've learned that I don't need to change anything about me because I simply can't be liked by everyone. It's been a pretty crazy couple of weeks. I've loved every minute of time I've spent with them.

E&B

Two of the most humble, sincere, loving people I've ever known. Both of them, I feel do not get enough credit for how completely incredible they are as friends to so many people.

Emily: You are beautiful inside and out. Your love for our Creator oozes (yes, oozes) out of you and you have to be blind, deaf and mute to not notice it. I think my favorite thing about you is watching you worship. Music is so much a part of you, and it is so apparent that you strive to use your talents to glorify God, and for that purpose alone. I've had so many fun times with you, and it has been so fun listening to your Dad, and hearing your stories about family. We're going to be friends no matter what for a long time, and I know it.

I remember when we first met and you were so shy and tired. It was funny. I would have never expected us to be this close. I love love love it, and I love love love you.

Britany (girlfriend): I think it is funny that people think we like each other. I think its great that we have a relationship that makes people wonder because honestly, I feel like that is how it should be (this goes for you too, Emily hahaha). You are such a beautiful person inside and out, and so humble (but NOT a pushover). The way you deal with conflict is so great. You are the best at that, and I'm so blessed to know you. I'm so sad that I didn't get to know you during Phantom and I'm sorry if I was ever a douche back then.

You give the best advice, you are the best listener ever, and I am so so so so honored to know you, and to be your friend. I love you so much.

I love you two more than words can describe. You know me the best, you've seen me at my best and worst, and we've grown so close together. I love you both..wait I already said that. I love you!

-Marc

p.s. we need more pics together. We have none.

Vegas

Day 1: Bus
Thursday began our 10 day adventure to LAS VEGAS! Not much to say about today except we have 30 hours of people mover ahead of us. I'm going to be really excited to get there!

Day 2: Bus
Friday was more bus. bus bus bus. I got sick of the bus, but today I got to see a couple things that I haven't quite seen before. I saw a mountain for the first time. A serious, legit mountain. Not only did I see a mountain, I saw tons and tons of them. They're breathtaking. They are just everywhere here. You see a building, there is a mountain behind it.

As we drove up the hill to Las Vegas, when we reached the top of the hill there was just a pool of lights. Something you can't capture with a picture. The city is breathtaking. We finally arrived to our residence for the week: a rental home. A GORGEOUS rental home. We have plenty of rooms, TV's everywhere, a huge pool table and POOL! However, we were too tuckered out for any of that, so we went to bed. Zack Tracy was my roommate. I like him. He's cool.

Day 3: Prostitutes
We woke up early the next morning and went to The Church of South Las Vegas and had our training for the strip ministry we were going to do that night. We learned so much about how prostitution works (its an intense, sad process) and then we set up for what they call store. I like to call it:
A Place For Homeless or Under Privileged People To Get Free Stuff That They Need

haha, it was amazing. They had everything a family would need, and they did it for hundreds of people, AND they do it TWICE a month. How awesome is that?! Okay, that ended and we went back to the house to brush up and went to a church service there that night. The worship was POPIN' and the speaker brought the Truth! It was a really nice service, and it really rejuvenated us from that ghastly bus ride here. After church began our Strip ministry. What an experience. The organization is called Hookers for Jesus, and we called the outing SNL or Saturday Night Love. There are a couple different teams for the night. One is the Frontline team which is a group of strong loving women who have gotten out of prostitution and chose Salvation. What an honor to hear their stories. All have beautiful testimonies, and I am truly blessed to have met Tina, Annie and the rest of the girls. The other teams are the Prayer Team and the Body Guard. Now, they've never really needed body guards, but they have them to shoo away the drunk guys and stuff, and the prayer team just follows the frontline at a distance and just prays for the interactions ...

okay ADD, the frontline has these things called Love Bags, now these are full of lotion, hand soap, girl y things, and a pink bible, along with some devotional stuff and information on the church. They go out, hand these out and we as a Prayer team pray for the interactions. It was a pretty cool experience, and this was the first time I've ever seen the strip. The mind pictures of the prostitutes faces will never leave my head. After this we went back to the house and slept for the next day.

Day 4: Red Rock
This day was so chill! we got up at like 10 and went out to Red Rock park and climbed rocks ALL day! It was really fun, and this place is beautiful. We packed our lunches, and headed out to this beautiful mountain Vanessa Vann has helped plan this whole trip, and it has been a blessing hanging out and getting to know her throughout the week. What a blessing. After red rock, we went to the Dodd's house for dinner. Not only did they feed us an INCREDIBLE taco feast, but they are the people that head up the African Refugee Ministry and they told us all about what we were going to do for them for the rest of the week. It was such a chill day!

Day 5: Burma
We woke up and got ready for Cynthia to come over and tell us what was going on. When she was telling us we were going to the PLAYGROUND with kids, I got pretty excited, and that is honestly what we did for the whole afternoon. We went to one of the only apartment complexes in Vegas that agrees to house refugees to meet these families from Burma and Bhutan and then we were off to the playground. These children were beautiful. So so beautiful, and so were the older kids and adults. Everyone came, and it was one big party. Well, not really, but it was such a blessing to hang out with these kids at the play ground and play some soccer. Daw-reh and Too-rey were my two favorites (pictures will be up for sure when I get back). When we were done here we went back to the apartment. Now, Cynthia is an angel, and she takes care of these people. They don't even know how to speak English, so she meets with them on a weekly basis and goes through their mail so they can pay their bills ect, and this goes a whole lot easier when they children aren't there, so we were the child care. It was SO MUCH FUN! We played all different kinds of games. It's amazing how much you can do even with a language barrier.

Day 6: Borderless Beauty
What a day this was. We woke up and went on two prayer walks around the apartment complexes where they house the refugees. What a blessing it was to pray with Brooke Harris. She is a beauty of a person, and it was so great to pray with her for an hour. She has a heart of gold. After our prayer walk we went to the other apartment complex and played with the kids some more. Meet Too-Lay (I don't know how to spell it, but thats how you say it). This kid is all smiles, I swear! I never saw him sad or anything! He was for sure my favorite during the week. Playing tag never got old to him, and I could just see Jesus through his eyes. There were so many other beautiful children we met on this day, and we had such a good time hanging out with them!

After hanging out with the children all afternoon, we set out for a night on the strip to get some dinner and dessert, and watch the show at the belagio! It was Fly Me To The Moon by Frank Sinatra!


It was a good song! And we ate at the...
It was good and stuff, then we went to this crazy place with a chocolate fountain thing in the belagio for some gelato! I have very berry and lemon mixed together, and I can honestly say that it brought me right back to Italy. So good! After this we walked around for a little bit and by then we were all tuckered out so we went back to the house to sleep. The next day is going to be great!

Day 7: Back to School
Today we went back to elementary school for a morning! We were all split up into classes where we were going to help out the teacher for a little bit. Robin and I went to kindergarten and did some things with them and I got to read a few stories to them and help them out with puzzles, worksheets, ect. They were all beautiful kids, and I could just see how less stressed the teachers were because we were there. It was a blessing to be there. After we did our duties there, we went to a middle school to hear Vanessa Vann speak. It was a great talk about dreams, and how we can always accomplish our dreams. Vanessa is a graduate from Spring Arbor, and a former Peer Advisor and now she words for Rapport doing motivational speaking as part of her duties there. It was so great to hang out with her, and here her speak. She is full of encouragement and enthusiasm! After we were done at the middle school we went back to the apartment complex and met the families we were going to hang out with the next day, and played a ton of four square with the neighborhood kids. It was a blast, and I was so excited to spend the day with the family Vanessa choose for me, Robin and Steven! Here are some pics of this day
So great. So so great. After we were done, we went back to the house and had some BBQ chicken on the grill and hung out for the rest of the night.

Day 8: Helpin' Out
This is one of the days I've been looking forward to. First of all, we got to sleep in then we went back out to those apartments and spent the whole day with our families! Ruth and Maria were the adults. Maria was too old to learn English so the extent of her English was "Yes, No, and Hi, my name is Maria," but one of the coolest things about this day is Steven Owlsey got a bible in Swahili and English and attempted to translate it to her. It was so cool to watch! But before, after, and a little during that I just scrubbed scrubbed scrubbed down their apartment, and killed so many cockroaches... This was a beautiful family. There was also two other girls in it, Twiz and Annie. I'm not sure how they were all related, but It was so great watching them. They played Swahili worship music the whole time and were dancing and singing to it. It was great! And we got to teach them how to make pizza!
Steven, Annie, Maria, Twiz, Ruth, Marc

After we left there we went back to the house, ate some of our own pizza and debriefed the night (because that is what PA's do), and we went to this amazing place called YogurtLand which was oh so good. That's all. Non-Fat goodness.

Day 9: Headin' Home...At least we thought
We got up at the BUTT CRACK of dawn and went down to Arizona to see the GRAND CANYON! It was breathtaking, but we were there for a long time then we started our 38 hour drive home. At least we thought. A big snow storm started in Albuquerque and they shut down all of the interstates. So a hotel we went. It was cheap, but it was pretty nice! So we stayed there that night, and left at around 1o the next morning to finish our journey. We did go about 5 mph in Oklahoma for a couple hours, but we kept the journey going. (oh wait, this is a different day...)

Day 10: Travelin'
We traveled all day, and all night. That is all.

Day 11: DONE
Well, this day is today, and I am here finishing this blog and chilling with some friends. We got back at around 5, and I've just been visiting people and stuff and now I have to start on COM102 homework and stuff, but I'm going to hit the sheets tonight and worry about that tomorrow.


This trip gave me hope. Hope that if God can be present in sin city, that he can be present anywhere. It's not sin city to me anymore. It's now revolutionized city. God is completely present there.

Revival is happening. Lets pray for it to continue not for it to start. Praise the Lord.


Thanks for reading, dear friends.

-Marc

Will you marry me, Brooke Fraser? (but only if Britany says no)

If I find in myself desires nothing in this world can satisfy,
I can only conclude that I was not made for here
If the flesh that I fight is at best only light and momentary,
then of course I'll feel nude when to where I'm destined I'm compared

Speak to me in the light of the dawn
Mercy comes with the morning
I will sigh and with all creation groan as I wait for hope to come for me

Am I lost or just less found? On the straight or on the roundabout of the wrong way?
is this a soul that stirs in me, is it breaking free, wanting to come alive?
'Cos my comfort would prefer for me to be numb
An avoid the impending birth of who I was born to become


For we, we are not long here
Our time is but a breath, so we better breathe it
And I, I was made to live, I was made to love, I was made to know you
Hope is coming for me
Hope, He's coming

-C.S. Lewis
Music by Brooke Fraser

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GHpuTGGRCbY

Hope is coming for us.

prayer time

I feel so stale. I don’t like it. I feel like things that don’t even matter lately consume my whole life. Spring Arbor University has started a 24 hour prayer room from 6pm Friday to 6pm Saturday, and what a blessing this has been. Looking around, seeing people submitting their whole selves to our Creator, praying out loud, worshipping with a different band every two hours. Seeing people share what is on their hearts with devotions, seeing people put prayer requests and scripture on the board. Watching people just break down, read their bibles, lift their hands in praise, randomly break out in a roaring applause for our God. It’s based off of ihop (international house of prayer), and I can see this campus changing. This campus has been praying for revival, and I can see it happening.

What a blessing it is for me to be here. I’ve had my fair share of struggles, but nothing like Jesus. I can’t even fathom what He had to deal with. I know it sounds cliché to say that, but really. I can’t even imagine it. People, here is the great news. Our God is faithful to the end. Faithful to the end.

God, come and marry me. I don’t need a girl, I don’t need drama, I certainly don’t need any material thing, but God you provide. Praise You forever.

If you go to Spring Arbor, come to this.

formspring.me

Ask me anything http://formspring.me/marc8990

I've learned this week that:

Its okay to sometimes not be okay.


I'm not okay.

Stupid

This is stupid.

Bogging over this person, wanting her to be with me so bad that I just hurt. Seeing her flirting away with this other dude. Just wanted some of her time, some of her attention.

My heart should be breaking for what breaks God's, not mine.

So, screw this. Please pray for me. I still want her to be with me, but I don't want to be dwelling over this for now. What happens happens.

Love, Marc

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1TCh31xg4vA

Giving

I'm going to be pretty vulnerable in this post. just so you know.

Sometimes, I find myself giving giving giving giving and giving even more, and I end up just wanting someone to give. Today that happened to me. My selfish desires took over my whole being, and I just wanted someone to give me just something. I don't exactly know what that something is, but I just feel so drained at times.

This is especially hard when there is a girl you may think you have feelings for not give you the time of day. It sucks because if this girl happens to be my best friend, I over analyze everything she does because I just crave to know her feelings on the subject.

I want to give, and not expect anything back. I want to give and not yearn for something back. Pray for selflessness if you could, please.

Love you all.

Ahh, the sweet sweet smell of Panera

I'm sitting here in Panera waiting for Jacob to wake up, so I figure, hey, why not blog so my faithful readers have something to do! ;)

One thing on my mind lately is people who go to church, but don't live the life of a Christ Follower. I often have to remind myself that all sin is the same, but at times it just seems like this is just the worst. I think it is great for people to want to go to church, but what are their motives? Sometimes I just feel like people like that should stay home. We're all hypocrites. We're all sinners, and I guess it has been a struggle for me not to judge them for it.

In other news, we got our Wellspring results back, and can I just say that I am SO pumped for this summer! I have a really great team!

Jake Sinkovitz :: Road Manager/Electric Guitar

Eric Grzyb :: Assistant Road Manager/Drums

Jacob Barrieault :: Acoustic/Vocals

Luke Paul :: Bass/Vocals

Liz Sutton :: Keys/Vocals

Carolyn McCabe :: Vocals

Marissa LeClair :: Vocals

Me! :: Tech

I have a team full of willing servants, and grateful and loving hearts. I'm really excited to be lead by Jake. We've been talking a lot about what we want this summer and stuff. It's really cool to have an input, I feel worth. That is one thing I lacked last summer, I felt. I AM SOOOOO excited for this summer.

Another thing I am excited about is I'm starting a text project. I know some people don't like these because it limits the amount of reading you do a day, but it is perfect for me because I just lack that. I need something to look off of, and getting an email everyday is perfect. It is one chapter of the old testamant, and one chapter of the new testament every weekday, and one Psalm every weekend. I am SO excited!! Hopefully I can blog about what I read.

Winter Break was pretty boring at first, however, in the midst of bordum, I put together for myself a little road trip to visit a few people. I started with breakfast with Jake, then off to Chelsea to pick up Britany and head to Emily's house! Kyle met us there, and it was a really great time with great people. I love them all so much. I then headed over to Carolyn's house. It was a great time there too. It was good to spend one on one time with her. She has a heart full of worship, and I have a great amount of respect for her. Her family was great too. I am now at Panera waiting for Jacob to wake up. He went to onething at iHop in Kansas City and they hit some bumps in the road on the way back so I stayed an extra night at Carolyn's. Should be a good day. I'm not sure what is in store, but it should be great! He's a great guy full of love, and he's pretty funny too. :)

I'm so blessed to have so many fantastic, godly friends who open their doors for a bored person just wanting to get out of the stupid town called Lansing. Life is good, Friends are good, Panera is good, God is so good.

Love you all.